Or how to drop the worrying when we are waiting for big news
The pause place. Sometimes we find ourselves betwixt and between, waiting for: news, for a decision, on an offer we have made, to hear on an application, for results of something, or for a nations to process paperwork in line with its rules and regulations, and many more possible permeations of watching and waiting- feeling some sort of stuck….
It can easy to feel that we are at the mercy of something outside of ourselves in the time. We can feel like life is the villain -making us a victim, with nothing to do sit and sweat it out until something outside of us shifts.
In someways that is true – we cannot control life. We get to do our best, try hardest and then life will do whatever it does. We are ultimately powerless over people, places and things. Yet I know that sometime those times can feel stressful. It can be hard to let go and let life do what it does. It can be hard to trust in the proverbial process, or ti give it over to something great than us to handle it. Sometimes patience is preset and we can wait graciously, yet at other times we may be itching to get somewhere. To be on our way to “over there” On some level we know that trying won’t change anything – yet we do it anyway. We somehow feel that by ruminating and running over scenarios, time and time again, then maybe we might change something!! For sure, occasionally we do come up with good solutions yet mostly we just waste our life energy away and cause ourselves a whole heap of suffering along the way.
It’s a core truth that our life is still happening- even when we are anxiously waiting for something! We each only have finite number of days and we’d be wise to live them all fully- even when it feels like we are in holding pattern until we hear. How can we drop down into the moment, feel our feet on the earth and walk well thorough this day? Yes- even – or especially- if we are waiting on news outside of us or things that we can’t yet see the outcome of.
In these tricky times we have to learn how to develop trust in ourselves. We have to figure out for ourselves that we will always find a good way though, however the outcome goes. In these moments We get to consciously choose to see that we will find ways to be happy.
Sometimes getting what we want will be an amazing gift. Sometimes not getting what we want turns out to be an amazing gift too- sometimes in some way that we couldn’t possibly have seen at the time!
This moment is a mystery, we don’t know how it will go. We never really know how our lives will go.
It is a peculiar paradox as we are both powerful- we can shape our lives, train or re-train, take action steps, get going, make things happen and move metaphorical mountains! Yet at the same time sometimes reality throws some mighty wondrous wild cards our way and we simply cannot control it all.
As Rachel Naomi Remen writes “We have not been raised to cultivate a sense of Mystery. We may even see the unknown as an insult to our competence, a personal failing. Seen this way, the unknown becomes a challenge to action. But Mystery does not require action; Mystery requires our attention. Mystery requires that we listen and become open. When we meet with the unknown in this way, we can be touched by a wisdom that can transform our lives.”
So find some goodness in this moment feel into the heart, look up at the sky. Maybe place you hand your heart and whisper you got this. Make a clear choice to put down worry.
I once worked with mentor who made me write a specific future fear that I was wresting with down on a post-it note. He coached me via a potent technique that taught me to get clear on how much time I was worrying each day, When I was fretting about how the situation would turn out he made me hold the post-it note, physically hold it in my hands- so as to be clear I was consciously holding on to it and worrying! I was totally allowed to worry all day if I wanted to- I just had to make sure I was holding the post it! If instead I decided to trust life, to let go for a while -and to trust in how it would all unfold and then to focus on fun, of joy or doing something that inspired and nurtured me instead, then I could stick the post in in a special sacred space in my house- physically set it down. Acknowledging that I was trusting in life to handle it. That practice taught me so much about the habits of my mind and how often it went towards worrying about the future. Sigh!
There is much medicine in knowing how our own mind moves and in choosing to place our attention on what uplifts and inspires us instead. Post-it’s hold much wild wisdom. So does going and doing something fun! let go and let life….